Today is March 10th AKA Mar10 Day AKA “Mario Day” and to celebrate Mario’s big day, I’m doing something extremely controversial and ranking who I think are the top 5 best characters in Mario Kart.
I’m old enough to have been playing Mario Kart since the very first Super Mario Kart game was released on the Super Nintendo and I’ve put hard hours into just about every Mario Kart game that’s come after even the arcade game!
Heck, I even broke the story on Mario Kart 7’s announcement at the LA Auto Show way back in the day.
That legally makes me a Mario Kart expert and more than qualified to rank the best characters across all the Mario Kart games. That means if you disagree with me you’re technically breaking the law (don’t look into that just take my word for it).
Look, Toad is my dude. His take-no-crap attitude and limitless confidence serves as an inspiration to me to this day. Yet, he doesn’t quite make it to the top as the best character in Mario Kart. Though, he is still pretty good. He has really good acceleration and a decent top speed because he’s so lightweight. However, his weight is also his main weakness. He can be easily bumped into a spin by the more burley characters.
4. Koopa Troopa
I know what you’re thinking: “Koopa is literally the same as Toad! Why is he ranked higher?” I’ll tell you exactly why; He’s a turtle and turtles are just awesome by default. Yes, technically Koopa has all the same stats as Toad but driving around as a Koopa is just cool. Think about it, his main weapon is a shell. Which means he actually hurls the husks of his fallen comrades at his foes. It doesn’t get more metal than that!
Yes, that’s right! Mario is NOT at the top of this list. Go cry about it! I get it, the game is named after the dude and if I’m being honest, I pick Mario myself more than half the time. He is ranked “medium” for acceleration, weight, and speed which makes him versatile and good for beginners. It also makes him boring! He is literally the most mediocre character in the game by design. Thus, I can’t give him the top spot.
2. Princess Peach
Real talk, Princess Peach might have been the first major representation of a Woman in motorsports that I’ve ever seen growing up. That’s a big deal! Also she has way faster acceleration than Mario and her weapon of choice is mushrooms that freakin’ shrink people! She is not a woman to be trifled with on the track or off it.
Mar10 Day Honorable mention: Luigi
This is another “Koopa” situation. I’m fully aware that stats wise, Luigi is identical to his significantly more famous, shorter brother Mario. However, there is a cool factor that comes with picking the less famous brother who has a chip on his shoulder, and something to prove. I mean, who could forget Luigi’s famous “death stare” moment? The man loves green and means business
Mar10 Day Honorable mention 2: Donkey Kong & Bowser
Donkey Kong and Bowser are generally the heaviest characters and have the slowest acceleration. Though they also tend to have the highest top speeds once they get going. Their weight also makes them excellent for ramming people in battle mode and their little victory noises and animations after owning someone with an item are second to none! Now, onto number one…
Of course Yoshi is best in Mario Kart! He’s Yoshi! He has the speed, the acceleration, and most importantly the vibe! Is there anything cooler than a dinosaur driving a go-kart? Because if there is I haven’t seen it! His handling isn’t the best but that just means you have to be skilled to use him properly. That means he comes with bragging rights on top of everything else. Yoshi, we salute you!
There you have it, the best Mario Kart characters as ranked by my self-proclaimed expertise in the matter. While my picks are objectively correct and absolutely indisputable, I invite you to share your differing (and wrong) opinions in the comments below or on Twitter at @MotorworldHype.
Happy Mar10 Day!